Emotional health

Emotional health – an integral part of our overall well-being. It is the ability to experience the full spectrum of emotions, feelings, thoughts and experiences, to stay with it all, and when unexpected life situations arise that affect our emotional health, to be able to cope with the new challenges without resorting to destructive defence mechanisms.

Good emotional health leads to:

• resilience to negative life events;
• better quality care for physical health;
• safe and strong friendships and romantic relationships;
• the ability to understand and accept the other person;
• better sleep quality;
• resilience to physical and mental illness;
• the ability to help others and ask for help;
• Reduces the likelihood of developing mental disorders.

Emotional hygiene

During the pandemic itself, we experienced how necessary hygiene can be – hand washing, wearing masks, greeting, sneezing and similar labels only confirmed the fact that hygiene can be crucial to keep us functioning optimally. However, from a holistic point of view, looking at the human being as a whole tandem of body and mind, it can be concluded that, apart from handwashing, the other aspect of hygiene is crucial – ‘filtering our thoughts’ – and thus not only our physical health, but also our emotional health and our psychological health.

Oleg Lapin (2022), a renowned psychiatrist and psychotherapist, and an expert in the psychoanalytic field, says that emotional hygiene can be divided into three parts – the inner critic, the inner child and the subconscious.

1. The Inner Critic, according to the psychiatrist, is our inner voice that constantly criticises us and prevents us from enjoying ourselves. The more we allow this critic to control us, the more anxious or fearful we become.
2. The inner child can be understood as attention to one’s own needs and desires. Once we have reached personal maturity, it is easy to calm this “child”, to find a balance between our needs and the real possibilities that exist.
3. Our subconscious accumulates our experience. Being able to use the subconscious allows us to pursue our personal goals, avoid mistakes and improve.

To find out more or to join a programme organised by a psychotherapist to maintain emotional hygiene, you can do so here – https://lapinoskrynia.lt/emocine-higiena-2/.

Drawing and maintaining boundaries

Defining and maintaining one’s own boundaries in a way that is different from what may be commonly believed is not limiting or ignoring one’s own or another person(s)’ capabilities. Adequate personal boundaries are vital for quality communication and for maintaining personal mental hygiene. It is also important to understand that boundaries are not only drawn between romantic partners, friends and relatives, but also between other people – colleagues, supervisors, passers-by, etc.

Psychotherapist April Eldemire (2020) gives guidelines on how couples can maintain healthy relationships based on four simple rules. However, it is important to recognise that the rules are quite universal and can therefore be applied to other people:

1. Using unambiguous communication. According to this rule, it is essential to talk to yourself first: what do I want from myself and what would I like others to know about it? Once a decision has been made, it is important to communicate it clearly and unambiguously to the person to whom the message is directed. In this case, it is important to discuss each other’s attitudes, values and needs with your partner or the other person.

An example is the “I” language often used in psychology practice: ‘I feel frustrated when you don’t do your dishes’ or ‘I feel humiliated when you don’t respect my privacy’. Note that the first part of the sentence refers to the very feeling “I feel” in the context of a specific action by another person that violates the speaker’s boundaries, “when you do it [the action]”.

2. Establish clear consequences. Once boundaries have been set, it is crucial to remember to consider and discuss the consequences for your relationship regardless of the boundaries. Suppose you agree with your boyfriend/girlfriend that if you arrange a time to meet, you will initiate an alternative time to meet if you need to cancel it.
3. Taking responsibility for your own actions is just as important as listening to others. It is important to realise that if you do not constantly respond to the other person’s needs and respect their boundaries, it is wrong to expect them to remain respectful and open with you in spite of your behaviour.
4. Specialist advice can also be effective. If you are having difficulties trying to draw personal boundaries, it is always possible to seek the help of a psychologist/psychotherapist who can help you or you and your partner to learn to clarify your needs and values and to communicate them clearly to other people.

Information compiled by the Lithuanian Psychology Students’ Association (LiPSA).

Help for those contemplating suicide

It can be scary when you notice that a loved one is thinking about suicide, and you don’t know what to do or how to help them. Often it is a question of whether it is worth asking about it, or whether talking about it will exacerbate the situation. The answer is unequivocally that it is necessary to ask and talk about suicide directly, as this shows concern and gives the opportunity to talk openly about it.

The first thing to do is to try to talk to the person if you have even the slightest suspicion that he or she may be thinking about suicide. Don’t be afraid to speak openly and don’t avoid the word “suicide”. Sometimes it is enough to show that the person can talk to you. Being able to share feelings, to talk openly about your feelings and thoughts, to be listened to without judgement or moralising, reduces the distress they are feeling at the moment. It is this, and not advice or “magic phrases”, that reduces the risk of suicide.

Never underestimate a person’s problems or argue that suicide is a bad solution because at the time their problems are the biggest they have ever experienced and suicide seems like the only solution. Therefore, avoid saying that “everything will be all right”, because for the person contemplating suicide it seems that it will not be. Such statements devalue the situation and can make the person feel unheard and misunderstood.

Knowing about another person’s suicidal thoughts can be a heavy burden, so don’t keep it a secret – ask for help from other people you trust. It’s important to help, but it’s also important not to take too much responsibility, because even if you spot the signs of risk and get the right help in time, there’s no guarantee that the person won’t commit suicide – it’s up to them.

Remember that a frank and non-judgemental conversation is the first step towards helping someone who is thinking of suicide, but further help may be needed. Once you have listened and shown your concern for a loved one who is thinking of suicide, you should continue to encourage them to seek psychological help, and you can help to arrange this help or even offer to accompany them to show your support.

Information prepared „Jaunimo linijos“

Useful pages

Everyone faces different challenges sooner or later in their lives: some people like to talk about them more, others may find it difficult to mention them. Often we can start to compare our own problems with those of other people and notice the differences, but this does not mean that one person’s problems are more important than another’s. Remember that asking for help is perfectly normal and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Sometimes it can be difficult to start talking about it, but the constant discomfort caused by an unresolved problem can only make things worse later. However, if you still feel shy about asking for help, remember that you can also do so anonymously (e.g. at public health offices, addiction centres).

Jau dabar – A non-profit organisation whose aim is to contribute to the education of people on emotional and psychological literacy. The site hosts its own articles on psychology, which can help a person to find the right type of psychology and methods for them, by getting to know themselves and their needs.

9 pamoka – A digital educational programme for early prevention of gender-based violence.

Pasiklausyk – A virtual school where you’ll learn about crucial topics such as psychological health, emotions, psyche, motivation and more.